The Fourth of July

Oh my gosh it's America's birthday. I'd like to say this as professionally as possible. Holy fuck yes, fireworks!

The Fourth is a very important holiday for me because it means a mixture of mercury and gunpowder explode in the sky around nine thirty at four corners. Every single year! Now this Fourth started earlier than my usual ones since I was invited to go to Six Flags Great America with my friends Nay and Caitlin. If you click that link there it will take you to Natalie's blog which is pretty fucking amazing. Ah how I missed my relaxed use of swearing. I'm almost like a kid who's been released onto the world after being grounded. Unnaturally free.


At Six Flags the three of us spent most of our time waiting in lines. Wasn't too bad since we were together and could talk about everything under the moon. There were two things that pissed me off on an otherwise fantastic day. And time for you to hear them audience. Did ya miss my complaints?

Number one, flash pass. What is a "flash pass"? Well audience it is one of the most pen breaking (I have destroyed several bic pens over the course of my life out of anger) annoyances known to man. Amusement parks are already expensive for everyone. However there are those who feel the need to spend more because they can. They buy flash passes which enable them to cut in front of you. On a hot ass July day after waiting an hour for an awesome ride a group of spoiled children (they are the majority) skip in front of you because they have the flash pass. Now they aren't timid about it. No they like to gloat and act stuck up. Joy.

See I enjoy riding rides front row cause it's way more epic. Well a "premium" flash pass enables you to ride the ride again, instantly after. I threatened to kill four spoiled butter balls of kids because they did that on Raging Bull. They heard me. Most likely they fear short blondish white chicks now. (Although some of you may not understand why I was so furious you need to experience it yourself, you will want to murder any and all children who cut in the fashion of being proud of it).

Number two, overly excited man-children. Now I can be annoying as all fuck especially when hyper. Amusement parks are places to be hyper, in certain areas. Not in line. Don't be the douche who tries to go around high-fiving everyone at the back of the line of Superman. Especially don't be the douche who then talks about every controversial topic present in American news as if you have all the answers. My reply, go back to Starbucks you attention starved fuck.

Ahem, the rest of Six Flags was amazing. Superman kicks ass so much! It's a ride designed so that you "fly like Superman" and kicks even more ass in the front row. Natalie can scream though. I mean SCREAM. She must have circular breathing down cause I never heard her take a breath. Truly impressive my lovely Nay.

Batman was next of course. This time it was different, it went backwards. Holy hell that was cool. I've never experienced that glorious ride backwards. At night yes, in the rain yes, after a black out yup, but backwards?! Such an innovative way to make something feel new.

The last ride and my all time favorite was Raging Bull. If you want the smoothest roller coaster experience known to man, well challenge the Bull. I know coasters too. Trust me I've hit up so many theme parks including Cedar Point (go Dragster and Millennium Force) but none of them have a coaster smoother than Raging Bull. The three of us went front row and even took a pretty silly picture. Perfect way to end Six flags, with a cherry on top.

Then fireworks happened while the three of us sat on top of my mother's mini van. Best way to view fireworks. We played a few songs on our phones to reflect the mood of the night. Two I distinctly remember were "What a Beautiful World" and "Barlights". BOOM amazing fireworks courtesy of DG.

The three of us then lit of sparklers. We are silly girls.